Ice Across My Skin

by Danny LaVigne

Ice crawls across my flesh, seeping into my skin
Cutting to my core with its awful intent, sending shivers of dread down my spine
It scorches through my veins, chasing down my last holy sanctum
Softened by love’s soothing promise, my body offers no resistance
Maybe it was always there, waiting for me to discover
My empty core devoid of the hearth that burns in the hearts of others
I once believed that I had barricaded that desire in the deepest pocket of my mind
Now I see I had been deceived, tricked into protecting an abandoned cell
In ignorance I look for a way to force the sparks I know they feel
I claw and rage against the stone walls, but the friction only fuels my desperation
There is nothing to burn, no kindling except for my own flesh and blood
I set myself on fire in the futile hope that it will last a little while
When my love touches me, my senses give way to numbness
I can only elicit so much joy out of my temporary rush of power
Where hands were my skin now crawls with a phantom need
The mind wants what the body can’t conceive
Others’ attempts at sympathy only make my bitterness grow
How can they speak so plain of something they don’t know?
Always so assuming, always asserting opinions on my emotions
Without the slightest hint of understanding, they tell me I must wait
They say I’m missing nothing, but I see the pieces clearly
Time cannot return what I never possessed in the first place
I hold missing pieces with no clues as to where or why they are
The suspect no other than Death herself, offering me an exchange
What’s another malfunction to the ever-expanding list?
Only this time, I wanted this barren feeling, eager with anticipation
I wanted to pry the doors open and slaughter the source of all my ailments
But as soon as I want something, it disappears, alluding to my future of denial