Pure Abuse

by Sophie Ulin

Illustrated by Ally Satterfield

The first time we got into a fight I could have sworn you loved me.
Who does that say more about?

Me: The girl who thought that the one yelling at her, calling her names
	was actually in love with her?

Or

You: The boy who thought that by treating her like utter shit he could attempt 
	to bury his own feelings?

Why do we teach young girls to let themselves
Be taken advantage of,
Be made to feel less than,
Be kicked around?
We tell them to look out for the scary men;
You know the ones, 
The stereotypical angry men.

But we never tell them to look out for the boy who makes them laugh harder than anything,
Or the boy who picks her up when she’s crying on the ground in her bathroom unable to move,
Or the boy who tells her it will be okay.
This is who she should be scared of.
This is who she should protect herself from.
How is it that you still consume my thoughts to the point of writer's block?
Whether or not I mean to start writing about you,
Us,
This,
It always turns the same.
The theme that seems to encompass my life:
Betrayal, lost love, and hopelessness.
Why is it that I’m so afraid to fight with you if
The first time we got into a fight I could have sworn you loved me?